Biologist in the making, zombie apocalypse survivor in trainnning, geek in constant development. Slytherin's chaser, mexican
biologist, drummer, gamer, vlogger, food admirer and the classic: Raquel, 21, single, Mexico, I'm a panda.
This is legiterally the funniest thing snl has done in decades
they cut it because of the ONE gay reference
Same energy
both of these sketches were written by julio torres - here’s his twitter
Omg 😂
I just want you all to know that my dramatic 6 year old ass would have loved all of this shit.
I’m the dramatique™ hand to face moment in the broken mirror.
Here for the sensitive masculinity and broody femininity sm love
As best I can tell, the back of the doll box’s text reads: RICHARD is a handsome, wealthy widower who cannot seem to get over the loss of his first wife … until you came along! His kids are now Your Little Step Children, who you feel conflicted about to say the least. Richard’s silences are full of sorrow; he has a void in his heart that perhaps you can fill. He just has to accept that his first wife is gone … or is she?
[Transcription: all speech in the video is auto-tuned]
Story time: I’m a vet tech and one time I was [???] this lady for an appointment with her little dog who was covered in bugs
I searched this dog high and low for bugs, couldn’t find a single one
I said ma’am can you please point out these bugs to me
She said oh my gosh can’t you see them they’re right on his belly
She showed me her dog’s nipples and proceeded to try to rip them off
I said ma’am no stop
Those are his nipples
She said
There’s no way, he’s a boy
I said ma’am that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have nipples
Those are definitely his nipples, notice how they’re so symmetrical
She said no way, he’s a boy I said
Ma’am doesn’t your husband have nipples
I add vet tech storytime….lady brings in a kitten, terribly concerned he’s got a cold or asthma or something…he’s always making this alarming sound in his chest but he’s so active and affectionate and loves to snuggle. Neither her or her husband have ever had a cat before, so she just wants to make sure they get everything right and take good care of their newest family member.
I pet the kitten as I give this lady pamphlets and a personalized Cat Owner 101 lesson.
The kitten is leaving a great time, nearly comatose with happy in my lapm
She goes “That’s it!! That’s the sound!! What’s wrong with him?! If there’s anything we can do, we’ll do it! He’s my son’s best friend, we love him!”
I stare at her helplessly, fighting every impulse because this woman is so genuine in her love and concern for this, the first cat her family has ever experienced.
“Ma'am,” I say, so, SO gently.
“Ma'am, he’s purring. It means you’re making him happy.”
the video was sO FUNNY and then the last reply melted my entire heart
when i was little i used to hate showers but then as i got older i realized how much responsibility i could ignore by taking a shower so now i love showers
eleanor: *shows no interest towards tahani’s sister and seems genuinely interested in tahani herself unlike every person tahani has met in her entire life*
tahani:
This is so unrealistic, Tahani would get Eleanor a bigger diamond.